Unpublished but Irrefutable Laws

These laws are not scientifically proven, not theoretically reasonable and not professionally endorsed, but they are irrefutably true. (I've read them before, but saw them at Funtasticus recently.)

O’brien’s Variation Law: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Cannon’s Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.

Kovac’s Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number,you never get an engaged one.

OWEN’S LAW
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

HOWDEN’S LAW
You remember you have to mail a letter only when you’re near the mailbox.

Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Anthony’s Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

BELL’S THEOREM
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

RUBY’S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

WILLOUGHBY’S LAW
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

ZADRA’S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

BREDA’S RULE
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last

Standing Ovation Needed

This scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg, South Africa & London.

This is a true story.

A White woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a Black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess.

“Madam, what is the matter?” - the Hostess asked.

“You obviously do not see it then?” - she responded, - “You placed me next to a Black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat!.”

“Be calm please, ” - The Hostess replied. - “Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another seat is available.”

The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later.

“Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the Economy class. I spoke to the Captain and he informed me that there is also no seats in the Business class. All the same, we still have one seat in the First class.”

Before the woman could say anything, the Hostess continued:

“It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the Economy class to sit in the First class. However, given the circumstances, the Captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting.”

She turned to the Black guy, and said:

“Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First class.”

At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.


from here