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Saturday, December 27, 2008

Buzzwords of 2008

I found this link at Nothing to do with Arbroath, but the original is here.


A sticky or magnetic battery-powered LED used in bunches as a form of graffiti. (Invented by Evil Mad Scientist, one of my faves.)


To ruin a movie franchise; usually attributed to the arrogance of a successful producer or director. The term was coined based on a scene in the latest Indiana Jones movie, in which the hero survives a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator. The term is patterned after jump the shark, coined a few years ago to refer to anything that had peaked in popularity or quality and was now on a downward slide toward ridiculousness and irrelevancy.

Time for some LOLs!

Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures
see Sarah Palin pictures
fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

Friday, December 5, 2008

Ancient Pot Stash

found at Neatorama via Miss Cellania, originally at MSNBC

A 2,700-year-old grave unearthed in the Gobi Desert near Turpan, China revealed the world’s oldest marijuana stash! The grave belonged to a blue-eyed Caucasian man buried with a number of valuable items.

Scientists originally thought the plant material in the grave was coriander, but microscopic botanical analysis of the bowl contents, along with genetic testing, revealed that it was cannabis.

The size of seeds mixed in with the leaves, along with their color and other characteristics, indicate the marijuana came from a cultivated strain. Before the burial, someone had carefully picked out all of the male plant parts, which are less psychoactive, so Russo and his team believe there is little doubt as to why the cannabis was grown.

Nearly two pounds of pot were found in the grave. No, it’s not fresh enough to get anyone high.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Unpublished but Irrefutable Laws

These laws are not scientifically proven, not theoretically reasonable and not professionally endorsed, but they are irrefutably true. (I've read them before, but saw them at Funtasticus recently.)

O’brien’s Variation Law: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Cannon’s Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.

Kovac’s Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number,you never get an engaged one.

OWEN’S LAW
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

HOWDEN’S LAW
You remember you have to mail a letter only when you’re near the mailbox.

Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Anthony’s Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

BELL’S THEOREM
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

RUBY’S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

WILLOUGHBY’S LAW
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

ZADRA’S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

BREDA’S RULE
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Join the forces of Evil!


I know it's a little past Halloween ;) but I wanted to share something I just found, a great site called So You've Decided to be Evil. Go there, it's a lot of fun! My favorite was VIII-Make Your Own Evil Plan.

found via Davezilla

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I can has cheezburger ... and pathos?

Click on the title to see the original, but here's just the text without links just in case you can't see it or they take it down.

-------------------------
The lolcats, the Internet's most famous felines, may be hilarious. But in their yearning, I see nothing less than the tragedy of the human condition.

By Jay Dixit

Nov. 15, 2008 | The first time I saw a lolcat -- those funny images of felines with grammatically questionable captions -- it took me a minute to understand the joke.

"What's with the misspellings?" I wrote the friend who'd IM'd me the link. "Cats are dumb and can't spell?"

"Pretty much," my friend replied.
"And they have bad grammar?" I wrote, still processing the idea.

"Yes," he wrote. "Get it?"

I did. In fact, I couldn't stop laughing.

By now, even the most casual observers of the Internet are aware that lolcats have become a certifiable Internet phenomenon. Their flagship site, Icanhascheezburger.com, is one of Web 2.0's big success stories -- on track to top a billion page views this year -- and its content is entirely user-generated. Readers upload over 5,000 homegrown submissions every day, of which six or eight are posted on the site. And in October, the lolcats got their very own coffee table book, "I Can Has Cheezburger," published by Gotham Books.

I love lolcats. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Sure, they've been around for almost two years -- but the site posts fresh new jokes every day, and I'm never disappointed.

But what draws me to the site even more than what's funny is what's sad. My favorite lolcats are not the rapscallions pining for "cheezburgers" or helpfully upgrading your RAM, but rather a brilliant and underappreciated subgenre of sad lolcats -- tragic figures of grief, yearning and unrequited love. But I'll come back to that.

What makes lolcats different from the cat porn of the past -- the motivational posters of the '70s and '80s featuring furry kittens hanging from tree limbs, covered in toilet paper or in some other kind of adorable predicament -- is that lolcats aren't trying to be cute. In the cat-based imagery of ages past, cats retain their iconic traits: curiosity, skittishness, the tendency to curl up in a ball and just lie there. Even the YouTube cats of today perform characteristically catlike actions, repeatedly flushing toilets, dragging their paws along piano keys or getting flung off the ends of treadmills.

Lolcats are different in that the characters they portray -- and yes, they are portraying characters -- don't represent cats at all. They're a completely different kind of beast, mischievous (if incompetent) rascals, scheming for cheeseburgers and stopping at nothing to get them.

Take the lolcat that started it all, created by a Hawaiian blogger named Eric Nakagawa, who posted it in January 2007. The image features a cat with a crazed look of pure animal hunger, its eyes maniacal with desire, asking, "I can has cheezburger?" Underneath is the comment: "The Internet's piece de resistance, the website's raison d'etre."

This ur-lolcat created such a sensation that Nakagawa turned it into a blog, spawning not only the eponymous Web site but also a whole mythology. The cheezburger has become the Philosopher's Stone of the lolcats mythos -- the most prized, cherished and elusive object in their universe. It is for this reason that, when a tiny kitten being sniffed by a Great Dane 20 times its size needs a quick escape, it says, "I iz not cheezburger, kthxbai." It is for this reason that when a user finds a photo of a cat sitting by the window with its paws in its lap, the caption reads, "I iz waitin for cheezburger man. Does you have a money?"

The Web is now spawning a wave of next-generation lolcats sites that take the lolcats concept and run with it. There's lolpresident, loldogs, and even lolhan, a site devoted to Lindsay Lohan that includes such classics as "I layded you an egg but I'z hidin it."

There's lolcats magnetic poetry, lolcats translators, even a lolcats Bible Translation Project that renders familiar verses into Standard Feline English. The Supreme Being in the lolcats cosmology is "Ceiling Cat," a meme that began with a photograph of a cat peering down from a hole in the ceiling -- "Ceiling Cat is watching you masturbate" -- then became so standard that this feline deity is now routinely worshiped.

Thus, Genesis 1:1 is rendered as, "Oh hai! In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez an da Urfs." (Satan, of course, is represented by a black cat called Basement Cat.)

This is all funny stuff. But I submit that the true genius of lolcats lies in their tragedy.

In one classic example, one cat is crying, and another is hugging it and saying, "Don't crai. We'll get cheezburger someday." It's sweet and poignant and wistful all at the same time. Life can be hard, it says, and we don't always get what we want, but even as we long for things we may never have, we draw succor from the reassurances of those we love. Sure, it's ridiculous that what the cat is yearning for is a cheeseburger. But the cheeseburger is not really a cheeseburger -- it's a symbol.

Here's another: A brown and black calico looks out the window of his apartment only to notice a beautiful white female on the balcony across the way. His heart quickens, in the scenario I imagine, then he swallows hard and quickly looks away, unable to muster the courage to speak to her. The caption: "Evry dayz, 3 o'clockz ... Mebe one day I sez meow to her." Who among us hasn't felt that longing and regret? Who among us hasn't passed an attractive stranger in the supermarket or on the street, only to kick ourselves afterward for letting the opportunity slip between our fingers?

In fact, there's a whole species of the genus Lol devoted to the tragic: the "lolwalruses," or "lolruses." If lolcats are incorrigible little rascals, lolruses are romantic heroes, born to suffer, whose lives are dominated by the exquisite misery of love lost. The lolrus meme originated with a single diptych. The first panel displays the walrus lovingly cradling a bucket, a look of absurd delight on its face. In the second panel, a trainer is ripping the bucket away as the walrus looks on in helpless panic. And the saga of the lolrus and its beloved bucket takes off from there.

Clearly, I'm moved by these pictures. But what is it about the lolruses and the sad lolcats that is so gut-wrenching?

To try to understand, I turned to Bob Mankoff, the New Yorker's brilliant cartoon editor. After all, a lolcat is just an image with a caption -- in other words, a cartoon.

The first reason sad lolcats can be so powerful, Mankoff suggested, is their comedic structure. The meaning of a lolcat is rarely straightforward -- rather, there's a punch line of sorts, a layer of meaning you have to think about for a moment in order to grasp. So the punch line, the same thing that makes the lolcat funny, is what makes it sad. You could call these tragic strips.

The best example I know of this kind of cartoon is one by Charles Addams that depicts a male and female unicorn standing on a sliver of land in the rain as Noah's Ark sails away. Having arrived too late, all the unicorns can do is watch the ark recede into the distance as the waters rise around them. The image conveys so much regret -- the idea that we were so close, that we could still have these magical creatures among us today if only we'd been more patient. It's the sadness of missed opportunities.

But the unicorn cartoon still has the structure of a joke. You have to "get" the extra layer of meaning, grasping that the unicorns aren't, say, marooned on a desert island, but standing on a mountaintop as the floodwaters surge around them. "It's not just sad, because something that's just sad -- someone being killed, run over -- we know what that feels like," says Mankoff. "Here, you're using a mechanism that's usually involved in humor: the cleverness of getting it."

A second major factor in the poignancy of the sad lolcat, I would argue, is the use of animals. The comic form is generally a prophylaxis against sentimentality. By articulating profound feelings through cats and marine mammals speaking garbled English, we're able to shroud genuine emotions in pseudo-irony -- which means those animals can evoke deeper emotions without fear of mockery or cheapness.

Animals are also childlike and helpless. When we see a cute little dog in a New Yorker cartoon, it triggers the responses we have toward children. Cartoon dogs are childlike creatures: They're cute and have big heads, big eyes, exaggerated, childlike features.

Of course, to express human emotions, you need an expressive face. "It's cats, not scorpions," says Mankoff. "It's cats, not rats. If somehow on YouTube there was a rat flushing the toilet over and over again, we wouldn't think it's too interesting."

It is because animals are able to move us so powerfully that many tragic strips use animals instead of people. In one New Yorker cartoon, a dog is lying on the couch, while another dog, his therapist, sits in a chair and takes notes. "They moved my bowl," says the dog on the couch. The message isn't really about the moving of bowls at all, but about our problems in life, our frustrations, our sense of being victims.

"The animals aren't animals at all, they're stand-ins," explains Mankoff. "They're hybrids we use as devices to talk about the feelings we can't name in other ways."

The same is true of the sad lolcats and the lolruses. Consider LolSecretz. It's like PostSecret.com -- which publishes anonymous bathroom-wall-variety confessions ("I had gay sex at church camp," "I only love two of my children," etc.) -- except it uses images of cats. In one, a black cat says, "I just wishes I wuz white." In a third, a world-weary cat with dead eyes gazes longingly at a knife, saying, "i killed mahself 6 timez ... 3 to go."

Just as the dogs in the New Yorker cartoons don't represent actual dogs, these cats don't represent cats at all, but people. By using cats, icanhascheezburger can access themes more tragic and poignant than it could using people. You wouldn't enjoy a comic of an actual person fingering a blade and contemplating suicide -- but when it's a cat, you can accept it. You can even laugh.

And that's the real answer to the puzzle. We've gone from cats as cats, to cats as scheming rascals, to cats as human beings. The sad lolcats represent people. We have seen the lolcats, and they are us.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Facebook of Genesis

Go here to read this, it is seriously funny!

Link found at Davezilla.

Friday, November 14, 2008

The Mind of God

Something I've noticed before whenever I see a map of the known universe.

Click for bigger. It came from The New York Times originally, but I saw it at Dark Roasted Blend.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Being Poor

Ok, this is not exactly funny, but I thought is quite sobering and interesting to read. Here is a list of what being poor actually means….

Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.

Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV.

Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they’re what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there’s not an $800 car in America that’s worth a damn.

Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.

Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends’ houses but never has friends over to yours.

Being poor is going to the restroom before you get in the school lunch line so your friends will be ahead of you and won’t hear you say “I get free lunch” when you get to the cashier.

Being poor is living next to the freeway.

Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching that box of Raisin Bran you just bought and trying to think of a way to make the kids understand that the box has to last.


Being poor is wondering if your well-off sibling is lying when he says he doesn’t mind when you ask for help.

Being poor is off-brand toys.

Being poor is a heater in only one room of the house.

Being poor is knowing you can’t leave $5 on the coffee table when your friends are around.

Being poor is hoping your kids don’t have a growth spurt.

Being poor is stealing meat from the store, frying it up before your mom gets home and then telling her she doesn’t have make dinner tonight because you’re not hungry anyway.

Being poor is Goodwill underwear.

Being poor is not enough space for everyone who lives with you.

Being poor is feeling the glued soles tear off your supermarket shoes when you run around the playground.

Being poor is your kid’s school being the one with the 15-year-old textbooks and no air conditioning.

Being poor is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal.

Being poor is relying on people who don’t give a damn about you.

Being poor is an overnight shift under florescent lights.

Being poor is finding the letter your mom wrote to your dad, begging him for the child support.

Being poor is a bathtub you have to empty into the toilet.

Being poor is stopping the car to take a lamp from a stranger’s trash.

Being poor is making lunch for your kid when a cockroach skitters over the bread, and you looking over to see if your kid saw.

Being poor is believing a GED actually makes a goddamned difference.

Being poor is people angry at you just for walking around in the mall.

Being poor is not taking the job because you can’t find someone you trust to watch your kids.

Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.

Being poor is not talking to that girl because she’ll probably just laugh at your clothes.

Being poor is hoping you’ll be invited for dinner.

Being poor is a sidewalk with lots of brown glass on it.

Being poor is people thinking they know something about you by the way you talk.

Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.

Being poor is your kid’s teacher assuming you don’t have any books in your home.

Being poor is six dollars short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.

Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.

Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you’re not actually stupid.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you’re not actually lazy.

Being poor is a six-hour wait in an emergency room with a sick child asleep on your lap.

Being poor is never buying anything someone else hasn’t bought first.

Being poor is picking the 10 cent ramen instead of the 12 cent ramen because that’s two extra packages for every dollar.

Being poor is having to live with choices you didn’t know you made when you were 14 years old.

Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.

Being poor is knowing you’re being judged.

Being poor is a box of crayons and a $1 coloring book from a community center Santa.

Being poor is checking the coin return slot of every soda machine you go by.

Being poor is deciding that it’s all right to base a relationship on shelter.

Being poor is knowing you really shouldn’t spend that buck on a Lotto ticket.

Being poor is hoping the register lady will spot you the dime.

Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won’t listen to you beg them against doing so.

Being poor is a cough that doesn’t go away.

Being poor is making sure you don’t spill on the couch, just in case you have to give it back before the lease is up.

Being poor is a $200 paycheck advance from a company that takes $250 when the paycheck comes in.

Being poor is four years of night classes for an Associates of Art degree.

Being poor is a lumpy futon bed.

Being poor is knowing where the shelter is.

Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.

Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.

Being poor is seeing how few options you have.

Being poor is running in place.

Being poor is people wondering why you didn’t leave.

I found it here.
I was informed (Thank You!) that it came from here.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Overpaid Teachers

This is from Miss Cellania here.

I'm fed up with teachers and their hefty salary guides. What we need here is a little perspective. If I had my way, I'd pay these teachers myself...I'd pay them babysitting wages. That's right. Instead of paying these outrageous taxes, I'd give them $3.00 an hour out of my own pocket. And I'm only going to pay them for five hours, not coffee breaks. That would be $15.00 a day. Each parent should pay $15 a day for these teachers to babysit their children. Even if they have more than one child, it's still cheaper than private day care.

Now, how many children do they teach in a day, maybe twenty? That's $15 X 20 = $300 a day. But remember they only work 180 days a year! I'm not going to pay them for all those vacations. $300 X180 = $54,000. (Just a minute, I think my calculator needs batteries.)

I know you teachers will say, "What about those who have ten years of experience and a Master's degree?" Well, maybe, (just to be fair) they could get the minimum wage, and instead of just babysitting, they could read the kids a story. We can round that off to about $5.00 an hour, times 5 hours, times 20 children...$5.00 X 5 X 20. That's $500 a day times 180 days. That's $90,000. HUH? Wait a minute...! Let's get a little perspective here.

Babysitting wages are too good for those teachers. Did anyone see a salary guide around here???!!!

(via Classroom Connection)

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

YES WE CAN!

Barack Obama has won!!!

More later, I have class early in the morning, but...

I just listened to his acceptance speech and I have tears in my eyes. I have hope for this country, even if my state of Georgia did vote red.

Thank you, America!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Time-Wasting Thoughts

I take no credit for these, I found them at Funtasticus.com.
Don't sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…..

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,”Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?


If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have “S” in it?

Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?

Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

Sunday, November 2, 2008

funny cat vid


via Cute Overload (link in list to left)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Life of a Chicken

go here to see a wonderful photo gallery of the life of a chicken

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Diversity, we haz it!


via

Homeowner goes political after graffiti ruined previous artwork


By BRAD WONG
P-I REPORTER

The homeowner, artist and technology researcher painted it in response to graffiti that covered a Barbarella-inspired figure that she created more than two years ago to honor friends in a Seattle art collective.

The graffiti artist struck about three weeks ago and left puffy white-and-black letters covering what then was the orange-haired "Space Virgin," a woman dressed in silver clothing and holding what looks like a gun.

She, her housemates and friends considered seeking revenge against the culprit. They thought about aiming a webcam at the garage door to see whether the person responsible for the graffiti returned.

Instead, three days later, she and a friend painted a 7-by-7-foot red circle-slash over the puffy letters. She wrote her e-mail address near the symbol and asked for information about who painted the letters.

Through the grapevine, she has heard that the culprit might be a 17-year-old boy. "I want the guy who did this to know that it's not OK," she said. "I can only hope that he's learning from this."

After her circle-slash went up, Seattle Public Utilities sent her a letter, telling her she had 10 days to clean up the graffiti or possibly face a $500 fine.

While she supports keeping neighborhoods clean, she felt she was being punished for someone else's action and that she has the right to paint on her own property.

So on Sunday, the Obama supporter painted over everything on her garage door and put up the image of the person she wants in the White House.

She also has a message for the graffiti artist: "Are you willing to paint over my art of this popular political figure? How low could you be to do that?"

source & I first saw it here

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Full Circle Rainbow



I saw this on Nothing To Do With Arbroath and here is the link to the video on Live Leak.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

34 Geeky Pumpkin Faces

You've got to go here and see all the wonderful geeky pumpkins.

One of my faves is from Evil Mad Scientist Labs (see link on sidebar).

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Hello, again.

Sorry, had a lot of homework, lately. Had a big test today, so no homework tonight.

You HAVE to, simply MUST, go look at this website: Sarah Palin as President, it's one of the funniest things I've seen in a while!

Speaking of funny, did you get a look at this? (click for bigger)



I really need a good caption for this, got any ideas?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

this is my sweet dog, Lady

funny pictures
moar funny pictures
What do you think of it?

Hello, again.

Sorry posting's been kind of slow lately, but school just started and college is giving me a lot of homework!

If you're bored, surf some of my links and you should get a laugh.

Here's a great link from Davezilla.com Prank Tattoos

Caution: don't get something in another language tattooed on yourself unless you are sure what it means! LOL!

BTW, in case I haven't mentioned this one before, Obscure Store and Reading Room is a great place to find something interesting to read.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Sick!

Did you see Sicko? Were you outraged? Then you should see POV: Critical Condition. Go here for a synopsis.

I just watched this show on PBS GA 8. It's hard to stop crying because this is happening to us, too. I remember watching Sicko and being outraged. Now, I'm just depressed. Can anyone really change anything? Will anyone? It sure doesn't feel like it. We do have Medicaid and they fight over every medication and service. They deny everything and make us go through an appeals process for everything. This means the doctors have to "pre-approve" everything, then send the Medicaid people tons of paperwork. This means we don't get the medications we need when we need them, we have to wait 3-4 months just to see if they will cover it. They only do about half the time. I am seriously approaching the end of my rope. I would give up if we didn't have two young children.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Scotland

Not your typical pictures of Scotland, but all the more beautiful for that.



go here to see more pictures by Steve Carter

The 25 Best Exam Blunders

1) Classical Studies
Question: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements.
Answer: Learning to speak Latin

2) Biology
Question: What is a fibula?
Answer: A little lie

3) General Studies
Question: Jeff has been asked to collect data about the amount of television his friends watch. Think of an appropriate question he could ask them.
Answer: How much TV do you watch?

4) Classical Studies
Question: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar's death?
Answer: Suspicious ones

5) Biology
Question: Give an example of a smoking-related disease
Answer: Early death

6) Geography
Question: What are the Pyramids?
Answer: The Pyramids are a large mountain range which splits France and Spain

7) Biology
Question: What is a plasmid?
Answer: A high definition television

8) English
Question: In Pride and Prejudice, at what moment does Elizabeth Bennet realise her true feelings for Mr Darcy?
Answer: When she sees him coming out of the lake.

9) Geography
Question: What do we call a person forced to leave their home perhaps by a natural disaster or war, without having another home to go to.
Answer: Homeless

10) Religious Studies
Question: Christians only have one spouse, what is this called?
Answer: Monotony

11) Biology
Question: In the Hawaiian Islands, there are around 500 different species of fruit fly. Give a reason for this
Answer: There are approximately 500 varieties of fruit

12) Physics
Question: Name an environmental side effect of burning fossil fuels
Answer: Fire

13) Geography
Question: Define the term "intensive farming".
Answer: It is when a farmer never has a day off.

14) Maths
Question: Change 7/8 to a decimal
Answer: 7.8

15) Geography
Question: What does the term "lava" mean?
Answer: A pre-pubescent caterpillar

16) General Studies
Question: Redundancy is often an unpleasant and unexpected event in someone's life. Give two examples of unexpected life events.
Answer: 1) death 2) Reincarnation

17) History
Question: What was introduced in the Children's Charter of 1908?
Answer: Children

18) Business Studies
Question: Explain the word "wholesaler".
Answer: Someone who sells you whole items - eg, a whole cake

19) Geography
Question: The race of people known as Malays come from which country?
Answer: Malaria

20) Geography
Question:What artificial waterway runs between the Mediterranean and Red Seas?
Answer: The Sewage Canal

21) Geography
Question: Name one famous Greek landmark
Answer: The most famous Greek landmark is the Apocalypse

22) Maths
Question: Expand 2 (x + y)
Answer: 2 ( x + y )
2 ( x + y )
2 ( x + y )

23) Business Studies
Question: Assess Fashion House pls's choice to locate its factory near Birmingham. Is Birmingham the right location for this type of business?
Answer: No. People from Birmingham aren't very fashionable.

24) History
Question: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom.

25) History
Question: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?
Answer: Unusual names.

via Miss Cellania

The Web back in 1996-1997

Back in 1996 the Web was starting to gain some serious momentum, but it was still just a few years old. Now in 2008, looking 12 years back into the past of the Web can be a both nostalgic and entertaining experience.

To give you some perspective, in 1996…

Google.com didn’t exist yet.

In January 1996 there were only 100,000 websites, compared to more than 160 million in 2008.

The web browser of choice was Netscape Navigator, followed by Microsoft Internet Explorer as a distant second (Microsoft launched IE 3 in 1996).

Most people used dial-up Internet connections with mighty speeds ranging from 28.8Kbps to 33.6Kbps. Highly modern 56Kbps modems would arrive in 1997.

People had only recently started to switch from 640×480 to 800×600 screen resolutions.

go to Curious?Read to see the rest, trust me, it's worth it!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Lines on the Head!

Apparently real headlines printed in the newspapers that can be freaking funny if you weren’t the one writing it!

- Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
- Miners Refuse to Work after Death
- Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
- Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
- Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe
- Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- War Dims Hope for Peace
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Deer Kill 17,000
- Stolen Painting Found by Tree
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
- Local High School Drop-outs Cut in Half
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
- Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Eye Drops Off Shelf
- Teachers Strike Idle Kids
- Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Princess Diana Was Alive Hours Before She Died

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Don't know the source for all these, but I found them at Funtasticus.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Remember, Remember, the 11th of September



Neatorama has a list of all the victims.

Funtasticus has a beautiful collection of photos from that day.

Profiles of the victims: here and here (from Miss Celellania)

Miss Celellania also has a host of other links here.


Where were you?

I was at home, enjoying a day off with my husband and oldest child. I was pregnant with my youngest. We would keep the TV off as much as possible when we were off to make it “quality time” together. My mother in law called us from work and told us to turn on the TV. She didn’t tell us a channel, just “turn on the tv, now.”
Oh, my, we just stood there, staring. It had been on Headline News, so we saw pictures of the first tower. My hands covered my belly where my daughter was growing and my husband held our son. We just sat there in front of the tv all day. All our plans were on hold.
All we could think was, “The world has moved on.” (from Stephen King’s The Dark Tower novels)
In a way, it was like the Challenger explosion. We talked about it being a defining moment in history, like the Kennedy assasination.
My first reaction when I saw the list above was to put my hand on the screen and pray for the people who died and especially their families. I pray that theay have been able to move on. Having lost my parents and other family (before that day), I know they will never “get over it,” but I hope they have been able to “move on” with their lives.
My prayers also go out to the people living in hardship and dying of hunger and violence around the world - in the past and today.

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We need to address why we went into Irac, but I'll leave that for later.

Computers Explained According to Movies

1. Word processors never display a cursor.

2. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.

3. All monitors display 2 inch high letters.

4. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.

5. Those that don’t will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

6. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing “access ALL OF THE SECRET FILES” on any keyboard.

7. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing “UPLOAD VIRUS.” Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just like they do in humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives and monitors.

8. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain’s desktop computer, even if it’s turned off.


9. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn’t go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the characters come across the screen.

10. All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward. See #7, above)

11. People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.

12. A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.

13. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.

14. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.

15. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.

16. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file — and there are no undelete utilities.

17. If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.

18. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it’ll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.

19. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren’t labelled.

20. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.

21. Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY-MP.

22. Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face.

23. Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.

24. Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow down users.

25. Any photograph can have minute details pulled out of it. You can zoom into any picture as far as you want to. Example: “What’s that fuzzy thing in the corner? I don’t know, let’s check. It’s the murder weapon! Let’s look under the bed for the killers shoes. no, just some comics books (Marvel 1954, very rare). Let’s check the closet shelves…!”

found at Funtasticus

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Fun With Gas

I just love the Mythbusters! Here's Adam having fun with inhaling helium and sulfur hexafluoride.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

O RLY?

Attacks, praise stretch truth at GOP convention
By JIM KUHNHENN, Associated Press Writer
Wed Sep 3, 11:48 PM ET



ST. PAUL, Minn. - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her Republican supporters held back little Wednesday as they issued dismissive attacks on Barack Obama and flattering praise on her credentials to be vice president. In some cases, the reproach and the praise stretched the truth.

Some examples:

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. ... She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.

___

Associated Press Writer Jim Drinkard in Washington contributed to this report.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Things McCain & Bush hope you'll forget

Republicans are hoping that when Americans watch this week's Republican convention, we'll forget about the last eight years.

So we (MoveOn.org) have put together this list of the Bush administration's "accomplishments."

It's actually shocking, even when you've lived through it. Take a moment to read it and pass it along:

Misleading about Iraq's WMD

Implying a connection between Saddam and 9/11
Launching a war that's killed 4,150 Americans and wounded more than 30,000

Challenging Iraqi insurgents to attack U.S. troops: "Bring 'em on"

Granting no-bid contracts to Halliburton in Iraq

Failing to respond to Hurricane Katrina

Hiring unqualified crony to run FEMA

Praising crony's performance: "Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job"

Neglecting reconstruction of New Orleans' homes and levees

Promising American troops would be greeted as liberators
Declaring "Mission Accomplished" and later blaming the banner on troops
Cherry-picking facts about WMDs in Iraq, then blaming the CIA

Promising the Iraq war would lower gas prices

Claiming the Iraqi insurgency was in its "last throes" in 2005

Allowing Osama Bin Laden to escape

Launching a war that's killed countless Iraqi civilians

Using Terri Schiavo for political gain

Attempting to alter Constitution to allow discrimination against gay people

Wiretapping our phones without court order

Fighting to privatize Social Security

Stealing the 2000 election (remember Katherine Harris, voter purges, and the Supreme Court?)

Concealing the pre-9/11 Presidential Daily Briefing entitled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S."

Ignoring security at nuclear plants after 9/11

Battling the wall between church and state

Enforcing abstinence-only programs in public schools

Doing too little to halt genocide in Darfur

Trying to slash funding for PBS and NPR

Rejecting the Kyoto Treaty to stop climate change

Giving tax cuts to the rich in a time of war

Failing seniors with the costly Medicare prescription drug benefit

Suppressing the vote in the 2004 elections (remember Diebold and long lines in Ohio?)

Swiftboating John Kerry

Outing CIA agent Valerie Plame to retaliate for truth about Iraq's WMDs

Telling the 45 million uninsured Americans to just go to the emergency room

Spending $341 million a day in Iraq

Neglecting wounded soldiers at Walter Reed Medical Center

Allowing Afghanistan to fall into chaos, with the Taliban and al Qaeda regaining control

Pressuring PBS to carry pro-government propaganda

Paying columnists like Armstrong Williams to promote government policies

Creating fake news reels to promote the controversial Medicare law

Holding prisoners without trial at Guantanamo Ba

Covering up torture at Abu Ghraib

Breaking the Geneva Conventions

Appointing extreme right-wing Supreme Court Justices John Roberts and Samuel Alito

Forcing the Patriot Act into law

Firing federal prosecutors who failed to accuse Democrats of voting fraud

Turning a budget surplus into massive budget deficit

Letting more than a million homes go into foreclosure—the highest rate ever recorded

Watching as bank failures surge

Setting the record for most days on vacation by any president in U.S. history

Losing 2.7 million manufacturing jobs

Presiding over Enron scandal—the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history

Increasing nuclear threat by withdrawing from Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty with Russia

Appointing John Bolton as U.N. ambassador despite his promise to dismantle the U.N.

Holding secret meetings with Exxon Mobil, Conoco, Shell, and BP to set energy policy

Letting gas prices double while resisting fuel efficiency and clean energy

Friday, August 29, 2008

Barack Obama

Acceptance speech at Mile High Stadium in Denver, Colorado at the Democratic National Convention.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

I graduated in 93, but this is funny & this, too!

9 Reasons It’s Better To Be A College Freshman Now Than It Was In 1998.
School is back in session, everyone. How was your summer? Ten years ago this week, I was a teenager entering my first semester as a college freshman. Here are 9 reasons why this year’s college freshman have it a lot better than I did back in 1998.

1. It was almost impossible to stalk people.
Some chick in your lecture hall is hot? Now you can just hop Online and see all of her naughty Halloween photos from last year on Facebook. You can also take part in the newfangled fad of telling everyone in the universe what you’re doing RIGHT NOW. Hiding in the bushes outside of someone’s dorm window is so ’90s.

2. We had to go to the library.
Don’t cry to me because your T.A. won’t let you use Wikipedia as a source for your paper. Only six nerdy eighth graders knew how to use Google in 1998. I think I used Alta Vista. Ewww. The rest of the time I had to get an actual book from the actual library for whatever bullshit my rhetoric teacher wanted me to write about. Double ewww.

Go here to see the rest, it's hilarious!

And, in response, and before my time...

How about those from 1978:

1) We had photo albums, and our computers used punch cards

2) We went to the library but think about what’s in books that are over 30 yrs old.

3) Our dorm room shared a phone in the hall

4) We had a common room on the ground floor to watch tv.. by the way.. who shot JR ?

5) We were buying LP’s ( and recording our friends music on cassette tapes )

6) Roughly the last time the Pgh Pirates had a winning season

7) We were still watching the original Star Wars (along with Rocky Horror and Kentucky Fried Movie)

8) People occasionally hijaced a plane, but nobody got hurt.

9) We had to tell people they sucked in person.

Perspective is everything I guess


via Miss Cellania

A good treatise on politics


via

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Drunk Animals in Africa

Too much of "Amarula" can give a terrible hangover even to hardy African animals:

I now know why Pot is illegal

I knew some of this before from extensive reading, but I was at Curious? Read and read an article from here and learned how durable hemp cloth is. Also look at all the things hemp can do:

And can you believe this cloth is over 200 years old after being used and used?

Even George Washington grew hemp and said "Make the most of the hemp seed and sow it everywhere."
So why is this helpful and fun ;) plant illegal?
The Marijuana Tax Act of 1937, let the federal government get its foot in the door of drug policy. Prior to this date the States had the right to determine drug policy. This Act has led to peeing in a cup as a condition of employment. We are the only country in the world where free people do this.
You can find a lot more information on this subject out there and at the Hemp Museum.

Friday, August 22, 2008

New Site Found!

It's called Amy Oops! and she has a lot of great funny stuff. Check it out.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

What do you call it?


click for bigger
via

How man & woman think

A guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of commitment that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.


And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward… I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: … so that means it was… let’s see … February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means … lemme check the odometer … whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: he’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed — even before I sensed it — that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I’m gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a darn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They’ll probably say it’s only a 90 day warranty. That’s exactly what they’re gonna say, the scumbags.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic
fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a darn warranty. I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their…

“Roger”, Elaine says aloud.

“What?”, says Roger, startled.

“Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have .. Oh God, I feel so…”(She breaks down, sobbing.)

“What?” says Roger. “I’m such a fool,” Elaine sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.”

“There’s no horse?” says Roger.

“You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Elaine says.

“No!” says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

“It’s just that … It’s that I … I need some time”, Elaine says.

(There is a 15 second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

“Yes,” he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

“Oh Roger, do you really feel that way?” she says.

“What way?” says Roger.

“That way about time,” says Elaine.

“Oh,” says Roger. “Yes.”

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

“Thank you, Roger”, she says.

“Thank you,” says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it. (This is also Roger’s policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering
every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine’s, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: “Norm, you’ve known Elaine longer than I have. Did she ever own a horse?”

via

Where was I for so long?

Just sick with a horrible headache. I'll be posting again, now.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Pint for a quid? So 20th Century!

Locals at a village pub in Norfolk are beating the credit crunch by bartering home-grown produce for pints.

The Pigs public house, in Edgefield, near Holt, encourages drinkers to contribute to its traditional food menu in return for free alcohol.

A sign placed inside the pub reads: "If you grow, breed, shoot or steal anything that may look at home on our menu, bring it in and let's do a deal."



Where's that? (via Google Maps)


Pints have been exchanged for a kilo of potatoes, three whole mackerel and a kilo of fresh fruit. Locally shot rabbits, pheasants and pigeons have also been exchanged for beer.

Manager Cloe Wasey, 24, said the offer has been a success as people have started to feel the credit crunch.

"Someone will say 'that rabbit tasted great' and we say 'here, meet the person who shot it'. It's also a challenge for the chef to make the most of the ingredients."

Via Nothing to do with Arbroath. Source, with news video.

Davezilla

Has a great caption contest today.

Also, check out the link, Top 10 Creative Responses To Junk Mail
and the video, Russian press conference invaded by flying penis!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

New Site Found!

It's called the Daily WTF and this post is particularly hilarious, be prepared to ROFLMAO!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Burn After Reading

There's a new film from the Coen brothers coming out 09/12/2008 called Burn After Reading. I'm so excited about this! Go to the site and watch the trailer and I know you will be as well.

Starring: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, John Malkovich, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton and others.

New Comic found


link

TV Bloopers


via

and here's part one, via youtube.com


Mythbusters Blooper & Outtakes

50 Ways to save gas

"Hypermiling" is the term for altering your driving habits in order to get the most miles per gallon of gas. Let's face it, gas prices are outrageous and the economy as a whole is being affected. If you are having trouble making ends meet and want to get the most out of your gas money, follow the 50 hypermiling tips below.

Before You Drive

There are a few things you can do before you start your drive that will aid your hypermiling. Follow the tips below.

Consider a Stick Shift - So few young adults even know how to drive a stick shift these days. However, a manual car allows you to shift more efficiently for hypermiling.

Trade in Your Whale - If you are driving a huge, gas-guzzling beast, then you should consider something smaller and more fuel efficient.

Lighten Your Load - Remove any heavy items from your car, particularly items in your trunk. This excess weight will slow you down and waist more energy.

Remove Luggage Racks - Anything on your roof will cause wind resistance, including the metal racks.

Keep Your Tank Half-Full - By keeping your tank full at all times, you are always carrying around extra weight. Sometimes, you can reduce 50-100 pounds by avoiding a full tank.

Comparison Shop - No, don't drive around town looking for the best prices. That wastes gas! Instead use anonline guide to the cheapest fuel in your area.

Choose Gas Wisely - The cheapest gas may not be your best option for saving money. Conduct some research to determine what the proper grade is for your vehicle.

Fuel Up Early - It is believed that when you fuel up your car during the coolest part of the day, this prevents expansion and you will ultimately purchase more gas for your money.

Plan Your Route - Be smart in your driving by making a plan to avoid high-traffic, congested areas, as well as areas with a large fluctuation in speed limits.

Don't Top Off - By overfilling your gas tank, you may cause gas to spill out, thus losing more money.

Tune Up - Routine tune-ups and oil changes may help to prevent major engine and transmission issues that can affect your gas mileage.

Change Air Filter - When was the last time you changed out your air filter? This can greatly affect your gas mileage.

Check the Tires - Proper tire pressure can help you drive more effectively and save gas by preventing undo strain on your engine.

Save Fuel Receipts - By tracking your fuel consumption, you will learn what techniques works best for getting the most gas mileage.

Consider a Fuel Economy Monitor - Believe it or not, there are high-tech gadgets available that effectively track your fuel usage. Some people even build their own. Knowledge is power when hypermiling and every little bit helps.

General Driving Tips
These hypermiling tips are useful for any driving situation, regardless of location or weather.

Leave Early - In order to prevent both speeding and traffic, you should leave for your trip with plenty of time to spare. If you have normal office hours, try to beat morning traffic by an hour.

Drive Steady - Try to keep your car at a consistent speed. Unnecessary acceleration and late braking is both dangerous and fuel inefficient.

Pretend You're on a Bike - When you are bicycling, you coast down hills and conserve as much energy as you can while going uphill. Accelerate your car as if you are riding a bicycle.

Avoid 4-Wheel Drive - This function, although handy for getting you out of tough jams, uses a lot of gas. Try to avoid using 4-wheel drive as much as possible.

Avoid Aggression - Do not drive angry and do not try to keep up with those who are speeding. As a hypermiler, you must adopt a calculating, zen attitude about driving and leave the emotion at home.

Do Not "Rev" - Never "rev" your engine if you can help it. This just expends unnecessary gas.

Avoid Drive-Thrus - Avoiding these will improve your waistline and your bottom line. Drive-thrus require a lot of idling from your car. Just park and go into the restaurant if you must have fast food.

Keep Your Hands and Feet Still - The more you weave in and out of traffic or move your foot back and forth between the accelerator and brake, the more gas you waste.

Use Only the Right Foot - You should have learned this in Driver's Ed, but some people use both feet to pedal. This can cause you to hit the brake and accelerator at the same time, wasting gas.

Drive Barefoot - While you are technically not supposed to do this, some hypermilers feel it helps them to finely tune their car's braking and accelerating.

Ride the Wind - If you can find a good tailwind to plan your trip around, let the wind work to your advantage. Do not, however, tailgate a larger vehicle (also known as "drafting").

Keep it Under 40 - Whenever, possible, that is. Driving over 40 miles per hour pits your car against gas-guzzling wind resistance.

Turn of the A/C - While this isn't practical in some areas, turning off the air conditioner can save gas. If it is hot outside, try turning it off for only a few minutes at a time.

Avoid Rocky Roads - If you find yourself on a rocky road, you may be wasting gas. Seek out the smoothest surface possible to drive on.

Use Overdrive - If you have an automatic vehicle, that is.

Mind Your Fuel Cap - Many people lose gas from evaporation because their fuel caps are loose or missing.

City Driving

Keep Moving - While this isn't always advisable or safe, you should try to keep your car in constant motion while driving around the city. Avoid areas where you know there are lot of stop signs and traffic lights.

Pay Attention to Light Changes - You may wish to slow down for a red light ahead of time so that by the time you reach the car behind you, the light turns green and you don't have to stop completely. Do not do this if it holds anyone up behind you, of course.

Reduce Idle Time - If you must leave your car idling for several seconds or more, you can put your car in neutral and turn off the engine. This can be a bit dangerous in certain situations, however.

Highway Driving

Find a Slow Buddy - Amazingly, driving below or at the speed limit can sometimes get you run over on the highway. Find someone else who is driving as slow as you and get behind his or her car (at a safe distance, of course).

Do Not Speed - Not only will this save you money on citations, you will get more miles per gallon at 55 miles per hour than you will at 70 miles per hour.

Keep Your Windows Up - This reduces wind resistance and makes your car more aerodynamic.

Turn Off Your Lights - Granted, you should only do this when it is safe, but it can save gas on the highway.

Close the Sunroof - Yes, the weather might be beautiful, but high gas prices are not. Keep the sunroof closed at high speeds.

Set Cruise Control - Although this function can actually waste gas on hills, it is very useful for those of us with a naturally lead foot. If you can't keep yourself under a certain speed and you are on a somewhat flat road, set the cruise control.

Parking
Yes, even the way you park can affect your gas mileage. Below are few easy tips to follow.

Park Backwards - In other words, you should park so that you can drive away in the forward position, thus eliminating the need to use the reverse gear.

Park in the Shade - Parking in the shade keeps the inside of the car cooler and makes it easier to keep the air conditioning off. In older vehicles, parking in the shade will also reduce gas evaporation.

Time Your Departure - Do not start up your engine again until you have the opportunity to pull out and drive. Otherwise, you will idle.

Park Far Away - How much gas are you wasting at the mall or grocery store while driving around, searching for the closest spot? Just park the car and walk it -- you know you could use the exercise anyway.

Adjust While Parked - Don't wait until you start your engine to put on your seatbelt and adjust the seat and mirrors. This wastes unneeded gas.

Bad Weather
Driving conditions change during bad weather and so must your hypermiling techniques.

Avoid Driving in the Snow - Snowy roads are not only dangerous, they cause heavy resistance and will affect your fuel economy.

Use Snow Tires Wisely - If bad weather calls for snow tires and you have to travel, be safe and use them. However, be sure to remove them promptly when the weather clears.

Remove Ice from Car - Ice is heavy and can accumulate on your car quickly. Knock off any icicles in order to prevent more drag.

Don't Warm Up - Most cars today can start and drive in cold weather immediately. Therefore, you should just bundle up and leave rather than idling in the driveway until the car is warm.

Postpone Cold Trips - When your engine and tires are cold, they lose fuel efficiency. If you can help it, avoid trips in the cold.

via

Sunday, August 10, 2008

fly over the frozen mountains

where there's only one lake. go here, it's pretty. found at Tacky Raccoons

How well do you know the Middle East?


How well do you know the Middle East, West Asia, and Northern Africa? Try to drag each nation’s name to it’s location on the map. It doesn’t keep score, but you’ll know if you’re on the wrong track by the annoying buzzer. And maybe you’ll learn something, like I did! Found at Neatorama. Go here to take the test.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Hey, look!

blog readability test

Movie Reviews



I got this by going to The Blog Readability Test and typing in the url for this blog.

I found this at TYWKIWDBI and got the same score he did. Go and try other blogs!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Another new blog





It's called Cake Wrecks and it's here on Blogspot, so check it out!

Care to waste a lot of time?

Like Calvin & Hobbes?



Go here!

Can you guess the 100 most commonly used English words?

It's a little frustrating in that there is a 5-minute time limit and if your answer isn't correct you have to erase it before entering the next guess. Also, your correct answers are displayed in order of their frequency of use, not alphabetically, so you can't instantly see if you've already tried something.

As much as I read, I really expected to do well, but only got 31/100 my first try. My excuse, the tv is on and kids are getting ready for bed and husband is talking to his mother, in other words, life!

Go here and try.
Found here.

Outrageous!!!


Olympic gold medalist and outspoken Darfur activist Joey Cheek has had his visa revoked by the Chinese embassy, hours before the speedskating champion was set to fly to China. And he wasn't even planning on wearing a mask when he got there.

Chinese officials don't need a reason to revoke anyone's visa but, in their eyes, they had plenty of reasons to snatch Cheek's. He is the founder of Team Darfur, a group of 70 athletes whose goal it is to raise global awareness of the human-rights violations taking part in the Darfur region of Sudan. China's military, economic and diplomatic ties to Sudan have been well-publicized in the lead-up to the Games.

Said Cheek of his ban in a prepared statement:

"I am saddened not to be able to attend the Games. The Olympic Games represent something powerful: that people can come together from around the world and do things that no one thought were possible. However, the denial of my visa is a part of a systemic effort by the Chinese government to coerce and threaten athletes who are speaking out on behalf of the innocent people of Darfur.

Cheek was going to China to support the athletes on Team Darfur -- including soccer player Abby Wambach -- and to promote the cause, one that he has championed for years. After winning gold in the Torino Games, Cheek announced he was donating his $25,000 USOC bonus to Darfur and implored his sponsors to do the same. It seems that Joey Cheek is truly one of the good guys.

And now he's out of China before he even got there. With the Games getting closer (just two days away now), the world seemed ready to forget about all the Chinese issues in order to focus on the Games themselves. Unfortunately, China's actions make that impossible. In a time when we should be wondering who will light the Olympic cauldron, whether Michael Phelps can break an all-time record and how Liu Xiang will react to the pressure of 1.3 billion of his countrymen hanging on his every step, we're instead left to discuss the Chinese government's reluctance to allow any dissension in their country, despite repeated promises that they'd clean up their act when the Olympics came to town.

Photo via Getty Images

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Top 10 Questions not to ask in a job interview

10. What's your company's policy on severance pay?

9. How long does it take your company's bureaucracy to get around to firing somebody for poor performance?

8. Do you have a random drug testing policy?

7. Does your company's life insurance cover suicide?

6. How in depth are your criminal background checks?

5. Does your company's insurance consider genital herpes a pre-existing condition?

4. How many sick days do you allow each employee before you stop paying them for not being here?

3. Does your insurance cover sex-change operations?

2. Does your internet access have a firewall that blocks pornographic websites?

1. How frequently do your accountants audit petty cash?

found here and here

Can you tell a female from a shemale?

Click here to take the test!

Still bored? Here's another site with great stuff to read!